The Twits


Mr. Twit is overly hairy, stinky, and full of food in his stomach and beard. A disgusting introduction to a crazy, short story. Meanwhile, his other half, Mrs. Twit is an ugly person, inside and out. She has a glass eye which gives away her ugliness for anyone who needs a visual warning. The Twits are “fans” of practical joking each other. If one surprises the other, it becomes a contest of who can out-disgust or surprise the other. One day the joking becomes more intricate. Mr. Twit decides to give his wife one helluva smack down in return for her getting him to eat worms. She believes she is shrinking and the only cure is for her to be stretched by a bunch of balloons attached to an iron ring which Mrs. Twit is tied from, by the ankles.

In this story, Jackie Gleason would be jealous, because Mr. Twit steals his wish. He sends his wife to the moon. After she gets back, Bird Pie Day is right around the corner and Mr. Twit coats The Big Dead Tree with sticky stuffs and pries whatever type of birds get stuck off of it in the morning. This time, though his plan was foiled by some meddling kids, who in the end run bare-ass back to their mommies and daddies.

We are then taken into the back story behind the monkeys. Mr. Twit was a monkey trainer early on and he wants to become a success so they could do everything upside-down. He basically tortured the poor family of monkeys, but of course that’s only the start. The Twits go and buy guns when Mr. Twit’s repeated plan of painting different areas with glue for the birds to roost fails, repeatedly.

Muggle-Wump, the Papa monkey comes up with the plan of getting the Roly-Poly Bird friend to grab the cage key and set his family free, which he does. Instead of straight escape though, he wants some revenge so he and his bird friends and family enter the Twits home and Animal Farm-style, practical joke the Twits living room before they arrive.

The Twits fall for the idea they are already upside-down and glue their heads to the floor so they would be right-side up from the ceiling living-room floor. The monkeys again make their real escape until they are told of the cold winters, so they then decide to hitch a ride on Roly-Poly back to Africa. When the Twits fate is revealed in the end, everyone celebrated. Dark, funny and a quick read. For my review of, Matilda.


2 thoughts on “The Twits

  1. Pingback: Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator | Book Fiend

  2. Pingback: Quick Thoughts: “The Twits” | The Cheap Reader

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